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“People are a…

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

 I found this on tumblr, thought I’d share it. 

-Disha♥

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Here we are again. Another overrated day..

Valentine’s day. Yeah. People have been going high over it since last month. 

REALLY? Why? I don’t get the .. significance. First and foremost, if you really admire your special someone, you don’t need a 14th February for that. Honestly. And if you DO, it’s just mortification for you. 
 

To be honest, I was scared of today. I know, nothing great. Just another Tuesday. But I was afraid of seeing all these people being with the ones they love. Not to be sadistic or anything, but.. I felt kind of lonely. Later, I realized, I’m just fifteen. I’m GLAD that I ain’t obsessed over some freak-show kinna guy who’ll leave me in a few months for someone who’s hotter.
I’m glad that this valentines, I am going to be spending with my mother. That one person who I TRULY love. That one person who’s literally been with me through all my hard times. 10 years from now also, I will show this post to my husband, snigger, and say,’You think you’re the love of my life? pfft. My mom is’
While majority of the teenagers are probably getting their hair done, I’m just looking forward to eating rice and dal with my mom at home tonight. Perfect.

I’m not saying that I don’t believe in love, I most certainly do. But, I’m afraid to say that nothing(or no one), has come along and made me believe in it.

-Disha♥

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So maybe that’s what it all is. A delusion.

 had forced myself into thinking that maybe someday, it will happen. Maybe someday, you will look at me like you look at her. Someday, you will long to talk to me like I do. Someday, you’ll just call me to tell me that you miss me.
I just realized, that someday is never happening. Someday Never will you look at me like you look at her. Someday Never will you long to talk to me like I do.Someday Never will you call to tell me that you miss me. 
I will always be some girl to laugh and joke about. My so called hope, just got thrown down the gutter. You know what the worst part of feeling this way is? You, being the closest to me, will never know how much I am hurting. Every time you ask me, ‘What’s wrong?’, my heart throbs. The words are at the edge of my lips, ‘you and me, never being an ‘US’, that’s what’s wrong’
I know Valentine’s like 2 weeks away, but the thought of it kills. I want to be dead that day.

You’ll take her on a date. Tell me how it was. I will see how happy you are with her. The again, sulk about not being her, feel horrible, probably stabbed myself with a knife at least 5 times in my head. 
Why should I be sad?! You’re happy. With me, or without me, doesn’t matter. Would be so much better if it was with me, though. But .. life.

I give and you take. That’s how it’s always been. 
I give you take,

Some things,

don’t ever change. 

 

-Disha♥

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I’m happy toda…

I’m happy today. I regret nothing. 

I had my exam today, and it was ‘ze bomb’, for everyone and they’re all expecting 75+ (Atleast that’s what they’re saying..). 
Either way. I saw the question paper, and just how it happens ALL THE TIME, the questions I skipped last night, those exact questions appeared. :’D
HAHAHAHAHA.
Yeah. I laughed like a maniac. And everyone else in the examination hall gave me the ‘You okay, asshole?’ look.
For a change, I don’t regret not studying that particular question. Or, I don’t feel like I’m the most horrible in the world. And you know why I’m blogging about this? Because the next time I feel horrible, I want to read this, and want  my future self to remember how I happy I was on 19th January, 2012. 
I know this post makes no sense, but .. that’s life. Life doesn’t make sense to either, but we still live it right? 
One day, everything awesome will happen to us, and we seem to think-’o0o0o. Yaaay. Life’s great. Nothing can spoil this’.
Our life on the other hand, want to just shove bad luck in our face to show us how wrong we were.

Either way, note to future self: Life’s awesome. And will always be, no matter what. :D

Happily yours,

-Disha♥ 

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I don’t quite know, how to feel this way.

Things don’t make sense. Nothing seems to add up. While everyone is having their happy ending, I am still here. Waiting.

And I don’t quite know, how long I can wait. And I’ve been wondering, how long I can stay away.I don’t think very long. I’m breaking, inside. And it’s all because of you.

You make me happy and sad at the same time. Everyday, I just wait for that one ‘hey’ of yours. The days seems to be bland. It’s okay. Even if I don’t get the hey, I’m cool with it. What pricks? That you don’t feel this way. The way I feel. You don’t wait on me. You don’t think of me when you look at the ceiling. You don’t linger outside my block hoping that I might just come down and you happen to bump into me coincidentally. This is what hurts. But I’m going to be okay living with the constant pain. pfft Not like it’s a big deal for you now, is it? You have a lot of girls behind you. But guesswhat? I’m not like those other girls.
You know why? ‘Cause I don’t need a reason to stop feeling for you.
Like, ‘Hey, you don’t like me back. Pfft, I’ll go behind some other douchebag! -Grin-’
Or, ‘Omg. You like her. And not me. ..Yeah. Whatever. I don’t care.
Oh, look hawt guy. -Crazy girl scream-’
I’m not either of the above mentioned girls, moron. I just don’t know why you can’t see it?
That I’ll always be there for you. For better and for worse. That whenever you need me, I’ll be there.
Even now when you told me you want her. You know bothered me? That I’m not good enough for you. And I never will be. I can never be her. I’m just going to be an ordinary girl, your best friend. That’s it. Best friends. Forever. Seemingly, forever isn’t a nice word all the time, is it? Ha. Guess not.
I’ll just blog about my feelings for you. That’s all.
And maybe over the years, when you’ll have a wonderful life partner, and I’ll still be waiting, I’ll read this over and again and dread my life.

It makes no sense, but what else can I do? How can I move on, when I’m still in love with you?

-Disha♥

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We all survived another year. Yes.

Thinking about it, I don’t get WHY people celebrate the 1st of January of every year.
It’s like, ‘Hey there mates! We all survived with each other for another year. Yipeee. Let’s get drunk’.

Someone once said, “It’s shame on all those who make a new year resolution. You know why? Cuz it’s just pathetic that you all need a ‘NEW YEAR’ as a reason to change yourself.” I TOTALLY AGREE WITH HIM/HER!

No point. Today, or you could say yesterday, since it’s past 12 O’clock, was just a deja vu moment. Wishing your dearest ones at exact 12:00AM, even though they all sound so cute, they’re dumb. Yeah, the oxymoron there was intended.

But last year, 2011, was amazing. Overall. I met the most wonderful people in my life. I got rid of the ones who weren’t required. I won’t say I found my ‘fake’ friends, it’s more like, I just wasn’t compatible enough with them and maybe the way they think and function is different from my thought process. Hey! Everyone’s allowed to have their own opinion.
And there’s this one friend of mine, speaks with me seldom, but as a matter of fact I know, that he’s always there. Or maybe not. Are you? Yeah, I know you’ll be reading this someday, so hey. :P

I hope my 174th month of me being human goes well. And wish you all the same! (Not your 174th month. DUH.)

-Disha♥