Things don’t make sense. Nothing seems to add up. While everyone is having their happy ending, I am still here. Waiting.
And I don’t quite know, how long I can wait. And I’ve been wondering, how long I can stay away.I don’t think very long. I’m breaking, inside. And it’s all because of you.
You make me happy and sad at the same time. Everyday, I just wait for that one ‘hey’ of yours. The days seems to be bland. It’s okay. Even if I don’t get the hey, I’m cool with it. What pricks? That you don’t feel this way. The way I feel. You don’t wait on me. You don’t think of me when you look at the ceiling. You don’t linger outside my block hoping that I might just come down and you happen to bump into me coincidentally. This is what hurts. But I’m going to be okay living with the constant pain. pfft Not like it’s a big deal for you now, is it? You have a lot of girls behind you. But guesswhat? I’m not like those other girls.
You know why? ‘Cause I don’t need a reason to stop feeling for you.
Like, ‘Hey, you don’t like me back. Pfft, I’ll go behind some other douchebag! -Grin-’
Or, ‘Omg. You like her. And not me. ..Yeah. Whatever. I don’t care.
Oh, look hawt guy. -Crazy girl scream-’
I’m not either of the above mentioned girls, moron. I just don’t know why you can’t see it?
That I’ll always be there for you. For better and for worse. That whenever you need me, I’ll be there.
Even now when you told me you want her. You know bothered me? That I’m not good enough for you. And I never will be. I can never be her. I’m just going to be an ordinary girl, your best friend. That’s it. Best friends. Forever. Seemingly, forever isn’t a nice word all the time, is it? Ha. Guess not.
I’ll just blog about my feelings for you. That’s all.
And maybe over the years, when you’ll have a wonderful life partner, and I’ll still be waiting, I’ll read this over and again and dread my life.
It makes no sense, but what else can I do? How can I move on, when I’m still in love with you?
-Disha♥
